Step by step
in this dark dark room
i hear a whisper, i hear a cry
one girl falls apart,
one heart slowly dies.
Questions, no answers
Pain, no cure
Hard breathing and dreaming
hoping for something new...
Listen that quiet walker,
listen that lonely dreamer,
listen that broken soul,
listen those warm tears...
Looking for a change,
looking for a revelation
she keeps hoping
but her heart still cries
she keeps the smile
she brakes the rules,
she plays the game
she is going to survive...
One broken smile.
One lost walker...
One hope...
Million questions
"We don't choose our life. The life chooses us"
Sunday, December 27, 2009
me=broken 22/12/2009
I had a nightmare. My body went all in pain, and I woke up right when the tears started to flow down my face. All in pain I was waking up, in the far far America, and I was thinking “is it everything alright?”.
Then, grabbing the computer and waiting for a sigh, if not the phone. Calling and waiting an answer. Meanwhile my stomach, all wrapped in pain barely let me eat. Good news. Home everything is alright. Or I think it is.
Again and again, in 4 months, the same nightmare, the same routine, the same fear, the same hope, the same questions..
One morning, I got call that stated “ come home, father is not doing well”
I knew that my nightmare will become true. I always guess what will happen in my dreams. I hate to fall asleep just because.
Crying all over and over again and looking for answers. Why my father? Why while I am here? Why did I came at first place? Did he knew that I love him? Did he knew that every single day started with the same fears and hopes about him?
Putting smile on my face, while my heart is melting I am announcing that I am returning home. My new, american friends, all wondering what is the reason about my decision try to convince me that I should stay, that I they will miss me.
I try explaining but I stop in the middle. My body fights to get air. Since that Friday, my days are fight with the time. I never, ever imagined that I could pray to see my father alive, if his condition can be described as alive, just to tell him that I love him, and that school is not more important then he is.
Now, after 30 hours in air, airports, states, countries, I am waiting for my last flight and I am hoping that I will be strong enough to face the situation. To face that my father, at this point can not hear, see, or fell my presence. To face the fact that I couldn’t say to him his last goodbye.
Isn’t ironic? The hope that my father will still breath when I see him, without even thinking about the fact that he might be in pain, and the fact that he is waiting me is a true torture for him.
But I gave a promise one month ago. I gave him a promise that I will be with him if situation got worse. Now I wonder, did I really did that, am I good daughter? Is he proud of me?
My brother is here to remind me that I still have someone left, and that I still need to breath for him. For us.. For the ones that had perfect parents and lost both of them, within 5 years, from the same disease.
This is sad returning. 4 days I am trying to find an explanation and reason why? I will probably do that in the next years, and I will probably wont find any logical answer. Because no answer can be right. Because it is not fair to go through all this at this age, when we, and they should enjoy in their best years together.
And please, friends. I know that you all care, and love us. But I honestly don’t want to hear take care, stay positive, get some rest, it will be ok etc. Because I KNOW that it wont be ok, I know that I cant stay positive and I know that I have to be alone to find some answer why this is happening to me.
I just hope, that none of you have to go through this, never. Cause it really separates my soul, heart, thinking and existing. Because it’s the worst thing that can happen to you at the age of 20.
And by the way.. I hate winter, I hate snow, I hate December and January… Cause the winter takes it all..
p.s. i got home, my father still breaths, hardly.. the last days countdown..
Then, grabbing the computer and waiting for a sigh, if not the phone. Calling and waiting an answer. Meanwhile my stomach, all wrapped in pain barely let me eat. Good news. Home everything is alright. Or I think it is.
Again and again, in 4 months, the same nightmare, the same routine, the same fear, the same hope, the same questions..
One morning, I got call that stated “ come home, father is not doing well”
I knew that my nightmare will become true. I always guess what will happen in my dreams. I hate to fall asleep just because.
Crying all over and over again and looking for answers. Why my father? Why while I am here? Why did I came at first place? Did he knew that I love him? Did he knew that every single day started with the same fears and hopes about him?
Putting smile on my face, while my heart is melting I am announcing that I am returning home. My new, american friends, all wondering what is the reason about my decision try to convince me that I should stay, that I they will miss me.
I try explaining but I stop in the middle. My body fights to get air. Since that Friday, my days are fight with the time. I never, ever imagined that I could pray to see my father alive, if his condition can be described as alive, just to tell him that I love him, and that school is not more important then he is.
Now, after 30 hours in air, airports, states, countries, I am waiting for my last flight and I am hoping that I will be strong enough to face the situation. To face that my father, at this point can not hear, see, or fell my presence. To face the fact that I couldn’t say to him his last goodbye.
Isn’t ironic? The hope that my father will still breath when I see him, without even thinking about the fact that he might be in pain, and the fact that he is waiting me is a true torture for him.
But I gave a promise one month ago. I gave him a promise that I will be with him if situation got worse. Now I wonder, did I really did that, am I good daughter? Is he proud of me?
My brother is here to remind me that I still have someone left, and that I still need to breath for him. For us.. For the ones that had perfect parents and lost both of them, within 5 years, from the same disease.
This is sad returning. 4 days I am trying to find an explanation and reason why? I will probably do that in the next years, and I will probably wont find any logical answer. Because no answer can be right. Because it is not fair to go through all this at this age, when we, and they should enjoy in their best years together.
And please, friends. I know that you all care, and love us. But I honestly don’t want to hear take care, stay positive, get some rest, it will be ok etc. Because I KNOW that it wont be ok, I know that I cant stay positive and I know that I have to be alone to find some answer why this is happening to me.
I just hope, that none of you have to go through this, never. Cause it really separates my soul, heart, thinking and existing. Because it’s the worst thing that can happen to you at the age of 20.
And by the way.. I hate winter, I hate snow, I hate December and January… Cause the winter takes it all..
p.s. i got home, my father still breaths, hardly.. the last days countdown..
Sunday, October 25, 2009
pocivaj vo mir dedicko :(
pred brzo vreme pisuvav kako dedo dobi udar i kako ne se znae kolku ke zivee.. Epa, moite doma znaele deka se raboti za denovi, ama mene mi kazaa deka moze da zivee podolgo za da ne sekiram..
Neznam dali ke uspeam ova da go dopisam ili ke prekinam na pola zatoa sto mnogu me boli samata pomisla deka dedo go nema veke i verojatno ke pocnam da placam kako malo dete dodeka go pisuvam ova, a ne bi trebalo zatoa sto sum vo soba za ucenje so uste 3 ca.
vtornik, i poraka od vlatko.. "sase, dedo pocina denes vo 16 casot"
zosto, kako...? zosto bas mojot dedicko, zosto sega?
placev, i sega mi se solzat ocite koa ke mi tekne kako me isprati i kolku se raduvase na ovaa moja sansa.
nemozam...
ke prodolzam drug den ...
mozebi koga ke pomine nekoe vreme i ke mozam da se sekavam na nego so nasmevka ...sega nemozam.. mnogu boli..
pocivaj vo mir dedicko i da znaes deka te sakam premnogu
Neznam dali ke uspeam ova da go dopisam ili ke prekinam na pola zatoa sto mnogu me boli samata pomisla deka dedo go nema veke i verojatno ke pocnam da placam kako malo dete dodeka go pisuvam ova, a ne bi trebalo zatoa sto sum vo soba za ucenje so uste 3 ca.
vtornik, i poraka od vlatko.. "sase, dedo pocina denes vo 16 casot"
zosto, kako...? zosto bas mojot dedicko, zosto sega?
placev, i sega mi se solzat ocite koa ke mi tekne kako me isprati i kolku se raduvase na ovaa moja sansa.
nemozam...
ke prodolzam drug den ...
mozebi koga ke pomine nekoe vreme i ke mozam da se sekavam na nego so nasmevka ...sega nemozam.. mnogu boli..
pocivaj vo mir dedicko i da znaes deka te sakam premnogu
Thursday, October 15, 2009
dodeka razmisluvam za se...16.10.2009
Ponekogas stvarno nemozam da razberam kako i zosto se slucuvaat nekoi raboti vo zivotot. Zosto mora da pominuvame niz procesot na raganje, zivot i kraj. Zosto mora da se soocuvame so toa? neli ima nesto izmegu? neli postoi nesto poveke od samo edna sansa?
Denes e poseben den.. Pred 2 godini na ovoj den, slusnav nesto sto me natera da se otkazam od se vo sto dotogas veruvav.Tose zagina.. Dali nekoj od vas znae tocno sto on mi znacese?
Ne, ne bese samo detska iluzija, ne bese samo son na malo devojce koe se zanesuvase deka ke se omazi so nego. bese poveke od toa. Bese del od mojot zivot. bese moja podrska. Bese moj, na najposeben nacin. Vo mojot svet jas ne go delev so nikoj. Vo mojot svet se bese ednostavno perfektno.
Eden mesec prethodno mu bev na promocija na koncertot. "Izbrani" luge smeea da vlezat. jas kako sekogas se izbutkav da bidam vo prv red. Peese so cuden sjaj vo ocite, a jas kako i sekogas gi znaev site pesni. Me znaese. pa koj ne bi, posle tolku dosaganje. Koga ke mi tekne kolku se raduvav koga mu odev na promocii preku spisanie. Se pravev "vazna". ete me mene kade sto malku luge mozat da vlezat. =)
Sakav da go gusnam ... si rekov ajde nema smisla, ima premnogu luge. Jas i taka ke imam mnogu drugi sansi, jas i taka go imam gusnato 10000 pati ..
Si otidov...
Edna nedela pokasno peev pak. Silno. Vristev kako sto imav navika da pravam na negovite koncerti. Ednostavno begav od realnosta. Vo tie momenti bev najsrekna. Nisto ne bese bitno. Niti ostanatite 20 000 luge, niti ladnoto, niti svetlata. Samo on. Samo muzikata..
Odednas, eden glupav vtornik se vrakav od francuski i ne znam zosto odgovoriv na povikot na mobilen. Slusnav: Tose Proeski pocina vo sobrakajna nesreka.
Go spustiv telefonot. ne kazav nisto. Ne veruvav.
Trcav do doma. Otidov kaj marija. Placese. Se osvestiv deka e vistina ama ne placev. Bev zbuneta.
razmiluvav.. se prasuvav kako e mozno edno BUM da srusi se.. Kako? Zosto?
bev kako vo son. nemozev da se kontroliram kolku placam i pred kogo. Na red plostad legnav na zemja i guskav negova slika. Si odev nakaj doma i glasno go kolnev zivotot. Zosto???? Kazete mi zosto????
BUM..
Dedo odi vo wc i BUM, paga na zemja. Mozocen udar. BUM. 1 sec. samo tolku e dovolno se da rasipe. Doznav deka nema da se oporavi. Star e i centarot za ramnoteza mu e osteten.BUM. ke zivee 1 den, 1 nedela, 1 mesec, 1 ili 10 godini. i ke si otide. bas kako mama i tose. bas kako tetka radica. BUM. i nikoj nema da se seti posle 2 godini zatoa sto site ke bidat premnogu zafateni so sopstvenite glupavi problemi.
tato stanuva. go boli stomak. odime vo bolnica. slusam ima tumor. ne se znae kako ke se razviva. ne se dobri prognozite. BUM. samo taka. se kazuva li takvo nesto tuku taka. Ama na nikoj ne mu e gajle. Sekoj si go kreira sekojdnevieto spored negovite potrebi. Samo jas ne pretpostavuvam. treba da mislam deka se boram za dva zivota vo isto vreme, a deka patam za 3 zaminati. Koga jas ke ziveam togas? Koga ke nosam bolka vo dusata za sekoj del od srceto koj mi e otkinat?
Koga mislam na zivotot i se prasuvam zosto ne e fer kon mene? Koga sum 10000 km daleku i nemozam ni sopstveniot brat da go gusnam? Koga sedam vo glupava komp labaratorija i mislam dali utre ke docekam da se slusnam so moite doma i dali site sto me ispratija ke bidat tamu koga ke se vratam?
Da, zosto ziveeme? za da probame razlicni raboti, da pocustvuvame bolka i troska sreka i da zamineme. BAM. just like that!
Denes e poseben den.. Pred 2 godini na ovoj den, slusnav nesto sto me natera da se otkazam od se vo sto dotogas veruvav.Tose zagina.. Dali nekoj od vas znae tocno sto on mi znacese?
Ne, ne bese samo detska iluzija, ne bese samo son na malo devojce koe se zanesuvase deka ke se omazi so nego. bese poveke od toa. Bese del od mojot zivot. bese moja podrska. Bese moj, na najposeben nacin. Vo mojot svet jas ne go delev so nikoj. Vo mojot svet se bese ednostavno perfektno.
Eden mesec prethodno mu bev na promocija na koncertot. "Izbrani" luge smeea da vlezat. jas kako sekogas se izbutkav da bidam vo prv red. Peese so cuden sjaj vo ocite, a jas kako i sekogas gi znaev site pesni. Me znaese. pa koj ne bi, posle tolku dosaganje. Koga ke mi tekne kolku se raduvav koga mu odev na promocii preku spisanie. Se pravev "vazna". ete me mene kade sto malku luge mozat da vlezat. =)
Sakav da go gusnam ... si rekov ajde nema smisla, ima premnogu luge. Jas i taka ke imam mnogu drugi sansi, jas i taka go imam gusnato 10000 pati ..
Si otidov...
Edna nedela pokasno peev pak. Silno. Vristev kako sto imav navika da pravam na negovite koncerti. Ednostavno begav od realnosta. Vo tie momenti bev najsrekna. Nisto ne bese bitno. Niti ostanatite 20 000 luge, niti ladnoto, niti svetlata. Samo on. Samo muzikata..
Odednas, eden glupav vtornik se vrakav od francuski i ne znam zosto odgovoriv na povikot na mobilen. Slusnav: Tose Proeski pocina vo sobrakajna nesreka.
Go spustiv telefonot. ne kazav nisto. Ne veruvav.
Trcav do doma. Otidov kaj marija. Placese. Se osvestiv deka e vistina ama ne placev. Bev zbuneta.
razmiluvav.. se prasuvav kako e mozno edno BUM da srusi se.. Kako? Zosto?
bev kako vo son. nemozev da se kontroliram kolku placam i pred kogo. Na red plostad legnav na zemja i guskav negova slika. Si odev nakaj doma i glasno go kolnev zivotot. Zosto???? Kazete mi zosto????
BUM..
Dedo odi vo wc i BUM, paga na zemja. Mozocen udar. BUM. 1 sec. samo tolku e dovolno se da rasipe. Doznav deka nema da se oporavi. Star e i centarot za ramnoteza mu e osteten.BUM. ke zivee 1 den, 1 nedela, 1 mesec, 1 ili 10 godini. i ke si otide. bas kako mama i tose. bas kako tetka radica. BUM. i nikoj nema da se seti posle 2 godini zatoa sto site ke bidat premnogu zafateni so sopstvenite glupavi problemi.
tato stanuva. go boli stomak. odime vo bolnica. slusam ima tumor. ne se znae kako ke se razviva. ne se dobri prognozite. BUM. samo taka. se kazuva li takvo nesto tuku taka. Ama na nikoj ne mu e gajle. Sekoj si go kreira sekojdnevieto spored negovite potrebi. Samo jas ne pretpostavuvam. treba da mislam deka se boram za dva zivota vo isto vreme, a deka patam za 3 zaminati. Koga jas ke ziveam togas? Koga ke nosam bolka vo dusata za sekoj del od srceto koj mi e otkinat?
Koga mislam na zivotot i se prasuvam zosto ne e fer kon mene? Koga sum 10000 km daleku i nemozam ni sopstveniot brat da go gusnam? Koga sedam vo glupava komp labaratorija i mislam dali utre ke docekam da se slusnam so moite doma i dali site sto me ispratija ke bidat tamu koga ke se vratam?
Da, zosto ziveeme? za da probame razlicni raboti, da pocustvuvame bolka i troska sreka i da zamineme. BAM. just like that!
Sunday, September 27, 2009
one month and one week..7 months and 3 weeks left...
maybe some times i wonder why life is so unpredictable and so stupid.. maybe sometimes i wish i had wings and i wish i could fly around the globe whenever i wanted.. maybe always i want to hide my feelings and i want to "be happy" for the world. Maybe i don't like Amerika..maybe i dont even like Macedonia, but who cares?
Maybe i want to cry and i maybe i want to laugh ..most of all i dont want to feel. i dont want feelings, i want to be cold with the world. i want.. i don t know what i want actually. Love? I have, but is far away.. Family? i kind of have, but is far away.. Friends? I have them too, but they are far away also.. Great school? Ahh, i have it here, and guess what.. i dont want to take advantage of it.. i dont want to study.. Then why i am here? To have fun? Maybe.. Maybe i dont feel need to have fun..
Is this homesickness? is it just wish to have power to change life? is it just stupid idea of me being perfect in a world where that's impossible...
I dont know.. I just know that i will go in my room, take a shower and go out to walk.. At least this city offers me great nature and chance to chill out my head and my thinking .. I will miss this city one day.. I know i will...
Maybe i want to cry and i maybe i want to laugh ..most of all i dont want to feel. i dont want feelings, i want to be cold with the world. i want.. i don t know what i want actually. Love? I have, but is far away.. Family? i kind of have, but is far away.. Friends? I have them too, but they are far away also.. Great school? Ahh, i have it here, and guess what.. i dont want to take advantage of it.. i dont want to study.. Then why i am here? To have fun? Maybe.. Maybe i dont feel need to have fun..
Is this homesickness? is it just wish to have power to change life? is it just stupid idea of me being perfect in a world where that's impossible...
I dont know.. I just know that i will go in my room, take a shower and go out to walk.. At least this city offers me great nature and chance to chill out my head and my thinking .. I will miss this city one day.. I know i will...
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Wisconsin...
Oh, i guess finally Amerika right? i am not supposed to write this in english, because my friends will say "u became american, aren't you?" but belive me, i am far away from that.. this would be only few words in English..
First of all, i wanna say THANK YOU to Amanda, my host friend.. She was so great with me, that i didn't wanna leave her house...
Then, i would like to say thanks to Katie, my peer guide. She is also great and supportive girl. I like your company. And now..:D
kako sto znaete poveketo, stignav ziva i zdrava, malku umorna, na 21 avgust, vo 8 casot po americko, a nekade okolu 3 po nase, znaci posle skoro 24 casa let. Da, bev izmorena, ama i pokraj toa go primetiv preubavoto gradce so mnoguuuu zelenilo vo nego.. Vikendot sto sledese, bev na bezbol utakmica so poznati lica od wisconsin koi jas ne gi znam :) potoa bev vo nekoi trgovski centri kade sto sakav da ne bese Amanda, ke gi potrosev site pari od doma :D i bev na skara kaj roditelite na Amanda koi se super!
I da, moram da kazam deka amerikancive JADAT mnogu, i toa jadat se sto ne treba.. Za rucekot kaj roditelite na Amanda imavme.. lepce so pleskavica i kaskaval, cips, kecap i sos, majonez so krastavicki, ovosje i zelencuk, mnoguuuu "soda" sto e ustvari limunada :) i posle toa imavme epten blag desert, specijalitet na eau claire pretpostavuvam so bese biskvita so cokolado i toa beloto od machmalo peceno na skara :D aha, ubavo bese, ama toa blagoto te ubiva..
I, dojdov na kampusot.. Preubav e, zgradite i rekata, i parkovite i igralistata.. sobata od prvo IC ne mi se svigase, ama ja dekorirav so slikite so mi gi dadoa drugarrcinjata :D i si kupiv novi carsavi, Amanda mi kupi kebe i sega izgleda super!
Da, Hong Yang mojata cimerka, mi ima prateno mail (sepak e fina) ama na adresata od fakultetot pa zatoa ne sum videla :)
Hm... pocnavme so orientacija, i ni kazuvaat se sto kade e.. prviot den imavme zapoznavanje na kampusot, denes imavme sesii za zdravstveno osiguruvanje, policija i gi dobivme pariteeeeeee :D :P :P (mnogu se :) ))) a utre imame registriacija na casovi.. :P Grupata so koja rabotam e super, lugeto se pretezno komunikativni i uste ne sum "home sick" Najubaviot del za denes.. Bevme na soping vo ShopKa i potrosiv mnogu pari, ali.. si kupiv digitalen aparat, saat, carsavi, detergent, kupki, losioni, kremi .. :D
iskreno, mi se sviga tuka.. Bi kazala deka e kako na film, ama katie vika deka e poubavo od toa, zosto filmovite ne ja prikazuvaat Amerika.. ke moram da proveram.. BY MY SELF.. So i don't feel that stupid when i walk around and don't know nothing where is :)))
Ve sakam najmnogu.. koga i vas bi ve imala tuka (se odnesuva na odredena grupa koja ke se prepoznae :P ) bi bila najsrekna..
aleksandra <3 ili Sashhhka kako sto i tuka pocnaa da me vikaat :( :D
First of all, i wanna say THANK YOU to Amanda, my host friend.. She was so great with me, that i didn't wanna leave her house...
Then, i would like to say thanks to Katie, my peer guide. She is also great and supportive girl. I like your company. And now..:D
kako sto znaete poveketo, stignav ziva i zdrava, malku umorna, na 21 avgust, vo 8 casot po americko, a nekade okolu 3 po nase, znaci posle skoro 24 casa let. Da, bev izmorena, ama i pokraj toa go primetiv preubavoto gradce so mnoguuuu zelenilo vo nego.. Vikendot sto sledese, bev na bezbol utakmica so poznati lica od wisconsin koi jas ne gi znam :) potoa bev vo nekoi trgovski centri kade sto sakav da ne bese Amanda, ke gi potrosev site pari od doma :D i bev na skara kaj roditelite na Amanda koi se super!
I da, moram da kazam deka amerikancive JADAT mnogu, i toa jadat se sto ne treba.. Za rucekot kaj roditelite na Amanda imavme.. lepce so pleskavica i kaskaval, cips, kecap i sos, majonez so krastavicki, ovosje i zelencuk, mnoguuuu "soda" sto e ustvari limunada :) i posle toa imavme epten blag desert, specijalitet na eau claire pretpostavuvam so bese biskvita so cokolado i toa beloto od machmalo peceno na skara :D aha, ubavo bese, ama toa blagoto te ubiva..
I, dojdov na kampusot.. Preubav e, zgradite i rekata, i parkovite i igralistata.. sobata od prvo IC ne mi se svigase, ama ja dekorirav so slikite so mi gi dadoa drugarrcinjata :D i si kupiv novi carsavi, Amanda mi kupi kebe i sega izgleda super!
Da, Hong Yang mojata cimerka, mi ima prateno mail (sepak e fina) ama na adresata od fakultetot pa zatoa ne sum videla :)
Hm... pocnavme so orientacija, i ni kazuvaat se sto kade e.. prviot den imavme zapoznavanje na kampusot, denes imavme sesii za zdravstveno osiguruvanje, policija i gi dobivme pariteeeeeee :D :P :P (mnogu se :) ))) a utre imame registriacija na casovi.. :P Grupata so koja rabotam e super, lugeto se pretezno komunikativni i uste ne sum "home sick" Najubaviot del za denes.. Bevme na soping vo ShopKa i potrosiv mnogu pari, ali.. si kupiv digitalen aparat, saat, carsavi, detergent, kupki, losioni, kremi .. :D
iskreno, mi se sviga tuka.. Bi kazala deka e kako na film, ama katie vika deka e poubavo od toa, zosto filmovite ne ja prikazuvaat Amerika.. ke moram da proveram.. BY MY SELF.. So i don't feel that stupid when i walk around and don't know nothing where is :)))
Ve sakam najmnogu.. koga i vas bi ve imala tuka (se odnesuva na odredena grupa koja ke se prepoznae :P ) bi bila najsrekna..
aleksandra <3 ili Sashhhka kako sto i tuka pocnaa da me vikaat :( :D
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Pre Departure Orientation - UEP 2009
Istanbul... city that will stay in my heart forever.. Because of the Open Society Institute, because of the all UEP fellows, because of Matt, Anne, Kathlin, Bibi, Dorina.... Because of all smiles that i saw there.. Because of all positive energy that i accumulate there.. Because of the wonderful professors Helen and John.. Professors that will stay in my heart forever.. Because of the beautiful Sabanci University and all those lovely Turkish people.. Because of wonderful side-seeing and cruise..
It will stay in heart mostly because i got something that i wasn't hoping to get... because it was better than i ever imagined.. Because it made me anxious to go in USA and experience USA by my self. Because it made me realize how my situation is like, and how big support i will have there.. Because people from OSI are WONDERFUL, SUPPORTIVE AND AMAZING! Because they DO care how we feel!
Because they told us what will be like...
I love OSI because of this chance and i love UEP 2009 because of all positive energy that they have..
I am glad being part of this program.. I am glad i met u all..my life is better now!THANKS!
It will stay in heart mostly because i got something that i wasn't hoping to get... because it was better than i ever imagined.. Because it made me anxious to go in USA and experience USA by my self. Because it made me realize how my situation is like, and how big support i will have there.. Because people from OSI are WONDERFUL, SUPPORTIVE AND AMAZING! Because they DO care how we feel!
Because they told us what will be like...
I love OSI because of this chance and i love UEP 2009 because of all positive energy that they have..
I am glad being part of this program.. I am glad i met u all..my life is better now!THANKS!
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